![]() ![]() There is a lot more online support than there was eight years ago, but don’t discount the impact of meeting people IRL! And I would submit that the friendships you form in the NICU will last for years to come. While they were very sympathetic, it wasn’t until I met moms from the parent group that I really found that empathy from someone on our same journey. Although our family and friend support was amazing, they didn’t really “get it” when it came to our NICU stay. It was great to meet other parents (mainly moms, but some dads) who were walking our same path. I wish I would have started going from day one – or at least week one! I went to our parent group, but not until we were two months into our stay. Many NICUs have something similar for their current families. It is sponsored by social work, child life, and music therapy on a rotating basis. Our NICU has a weekly time for parents to get together. But here you go – here are the three things I would have done differently! Attended the NICU Parent Group from the start It’s interesting to think about having “regrets” about a NICU stay. Knowing what I know now, there are some things I would have done differently during our NICU stay. You will always remember your NICU Christmas, and it sure won’t stand out as “the best Christmas ever.” But one day, with time, I hope you can look back on it as a marker of just how far your little one has come. And know that next year will be a very different Christmas. So I encourage you to let some things go, adjust your expectations, spend time with your baby, and spend time with your family if that’s an option and something you want to do. You probably don’t care about much of the trappings of the season as your focus is on your NICU baby. You may or may not get to partake of your Christmas traditions. You may or may not get to see your family. And overwhelming, and sad, and unsettled. What I can offer you, though, is an, “I get it.” I understand how difficult it is. While I wish I had magical “how to enjoy Christmas in the NICU” advice, I do not. Maybe (probably!) everything just feels “too much.” Encouragement for You Maybe you didn’t even have a chance to do any Christmas prep. Maybe you live far away from your baby’s NICU. I know that our strategy isn’t possible for everyone. There were also donations of food for families on Christmas Eve and Christmas. These things meant a lot at a time when we weren’t really feeling the Christmas spirit. We received a Norfolk Island pine, tree ornaments, a tiny Santa hat, books, and holiday treats. At our hospital, many organizations make donations to the NICU around the holidays. We put a few decorations up in Jacob’s NICU room, and there were decorations throughout the hospital. While part of me longed for the traditions I love, part of me couldn’t muster up the energy to even care. Honestly, my bandwidth at that point consisted of pumping and sitting in the NICU with Jacob. We spent some time “doing Christmas” and a lot of time in the NICU. Our families took care of everything from planning and cooking the meal to figuring out our gift exchange. How did we handle it? We live about 25 minutes away from our NICU, so we actually hosted Christmas at our house (which we had never done and haven’t done since). Being in the NICU was difficult, not only because we were dealing with a fragile, sick, little guy, but because of the disruption to these family traditions. Our family has a lot of Christmas traditions – driving around to look at festive lights, Christmas Eve candlelight service at church, the kids opening one gift on Christmas Eve, stockings and presents Christmas morning, and a big Christmas dinner of ham, turkey, and all the fixings.Īs an add-on “bonus,” my birthday is also on Christmas, so we typically spend the late afternoon and evening celebrating my birthday with leftovers, appetizers, cake/ice cream/presents, and family games. I’ll be honest: Christmas was the most emotionally challenging. Our son was born November 19, so we spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, and St. But if you are experiencing Christmas in the NICU, it can be exceptionally difficult. This time of year can be hard, regardless of your situation.
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